


Heartlines

by sinshine



Series: Scarecrow Hide [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, M/M, Reunion Fic, Scarecrow!Hide, tgre spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:11:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinshine/pseuds/sinshine
Summary: Hide tallied a mental pros-and-cons list for keeping the mask on.Pro: Work is easier if I stay hidden. No one can do that shitty ‘threaten the life of the person you love to get to you’ thing. If Kaneki knew, he wouldn’t want me to fight. Worrying about me would hold him back.





	Heartlines

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a month ago as a series of drabbles on tumblr before, uh, /recent/ events. Non-canon compliant.

Hide tallied a mental pros-and-cons list for keeping the mask on.

Pro: Work is easier if I stay hidden. No one can do that shitty ‘threaten the life of the person you love to get to you’ thing. If Kaneki knew, he wouldn’t want me to fight. Worrying about me would hold him back.

Con: ~~He’ll look at me but not really see me. He won’t know how hard I’ve fought. He’ll never smile at me like he used to.~~ Mask is a little stuffy sometimes.

Coming up with excuses had always been shamefully easy for Hide. Although it was not very conducive to creating lasting relationships, it had become very useful once he was involved with more duplicitous sorts of individuals.

Hide went with Marude and Matsuri to the rendezvous point. (It was, of course, underground. Marude had picked this location on purpose, the bastard.) The three representatives from Goat were already there waiting. Hide’s scars felt tight and he grit his teeth.

Marude started to go through the formality of introductions but Kaneki cut him off.

“Yes, I’m sure we’re all well acquainted through reputation. Get to what you called us out here for.”

There was an edge to Kaneki’s voice that was more than just displeasure over meeting with a pair of former doves. Tsukiyama and Touka seemed to realize it, too. They stood tensed and ready to fight. Hide wondered if Kaneki ever told them about what happened four years ago in this particular part of the sewers.

Marude looked to Hide, indicating wordlessly for him to start. Hide swallowed and stepped forward, feet sloshing through the low water. He flipped to a set of pages that had been written in preparation for this meeting.

<Hello! My name is Scarecrow. We have need of your strength.>

Kaneki’s eyes flicked quickly over the kanji. Then he stared hard at the mask and Hide realized too late that he should have changed his handwriting.

“Are you…?”

  
  


_____________________________

  
  


Insomnia wasn’t new to Kaneki, but he couldn’t shake the restlessness that itched underneath his skin. So, he quietly got up from his bedroll and slipped away from the others who were still sleeping nearby.

Maybe it was impolite to roam around someone else’s compound, but no one had said anything about being restricted to the rooms that Goat occupied in the western wing. Kaneki told himself that he wasn’t really looking for anything. He just wanted somewhere to pace and to familiarize himself with their new headquarters. If anyone asked, he could even lie and say that he had gotten lost on his way back from the bathroom.

Kaneki’s feet took him to the war room. The heavy wooden door had been left ajar and a shaft of yellow light cut a line through the darkness of the hall. He heard the sound of paper rustling. Kaneki took a deep breath and held it. He cautiously stepped closer and peered inside the room.

Hide was facing away from him, hunched over the long table. Maps and tactical reports were spread out in front of him.

This was the first time that Kaneki had seen him without his Scarecrow costume. His dark clothing and hair made Kaneki wistful for the bright yellow that he had always associated with Hide. He had a long linen scarf wrapped around the lower half of his face and draped over his shoulders.

Kaneki pulled the door, silent on its hinges, further open and stepped into the room. He almost called out to Hide but then thought better of it. He watched him mark something in the margins of a map, then tap his pen on it before pulling another blueprint closer for inspection.

Kaneki stretched his arm out in front of him and let it hover there, reaching towards Hide. It would only take a single step. Just one step forward and– and what? Hide would forgive him? Hide would swear to stay by his side forever? Hide would promise to love him like no one else had?

Kaneki squeezed his trembling hand into a fist and lowered his arm. He quietly backed out of the room and, with a final glance at Hide’s dark hair, turned and walked briskly down the hall.

  
  


_____________________________

  
  


Kaneki passed by the war room and told himself that he wasn’t disappointed when there was no one inside. Just because Hide had been there for the past three nights didn’t mean that he was going to be there every time. And it wasn’t like he deserved to speak to Hide even if he ever did work up the nerve to talk to him. He sighed and decided to do one more loop by the kitchen before going back to bed.

Kaneki was about to turn a corner when he noticed an unsteady beam of light shining from the adjacent hallway. Feeling suddenly guilty, Kaneki stepped backwards and looked around for a hiding spot.

_It’s not that I’m not supposed to be here, I just don’t feel like talking to anyone,_ Kaneki told himself as he shut himself in a maintenance closet. He stifled a yelp when the door was yanked open two seconds later. Hide stared at him with wide eyes, obviously just as surprised to see Kaneki. Then he stepped into the closet and quietly shut the door behind him so that they were both hidden in the darkness.

Kaneki scrambled backwards, knocking his head on the wall and almost upsetting the mop bucket. Hide’s hands grasped his shoulders, gentle but firm, and steadied him. They were both still as footsteps approached outside and the beam of a flashlight shined at the bottom of the door. The doorknob jiggled but Hide had locked it. The person let out a colorful swear as they moved on, trudging down the hall in a manner that made Kaneki suspect it was Marude that Hide was hiding from. His skin felt too hot where Hide touched him.

When enough time had passed, Hide let go of his shoulders and Kaneki slumped back against the wall with a barely suppressed sob. His heart beat frantically and his whole body trembled with it. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying out in frustration; torn between begging Hide to touch him again or screaming at him to leave. Once again, Kaneki was damned by his own indecisiveness and Hide turned to leave.

“Wait!” Kaneki choked out, voice harsh with tears. He almost reached out to Hide but remembered his scaled, inhuman hands and he folded his arms across his chest. He leaned forward with a sigh to press his forehead to the back of Hide’s neck.

“Hide, I’m… I’m so sorry. And I know that’s not enough. I know that I can’t ever… but I’m really glad you’re here. Isn’t that fucked up?” Kaneki laughed but it was a hollow sound.

“There are so many things that you shouldn’t have had to do. And you shouldn’t have done them for me, but-” Kaneki sobbed and his voice cracked- “But I thought you were _dead_. I thought you were dead and that I’d _killed_ you and that I’d never get to see you again. S-So, I… I’m sorry that I’ve always been this selfish, but I’m so, so happy you’re here, Hide.”

Hide made an abrupt noise, like a scoff. He turned back around to face Kaneki and embraced him, holding him close and burying his face in his neck. Kaneki’s nails bit into his palms, still refusing to let himself touch Hide, but he wept into his scarf.

Kaneki felt Hide mouthing some word against his skin and it only made him cry harder when he realized what it was: <Stupid.>

_I missed you too, stupid._

  
  


 


End file.
